The white no-bake cake of doom

Everybody in my family likes the white cake and it is the go-to cake for marking any occasion. It's quick and easy and people tell me it's delicious. Frankly, I've made it so many times, it lost all appeal to me, but since I'm strapped for a topic to write about, and late to boot, here's how the white cake is made.

First you will need a lot of very yummy ingredients: 

• 1 liter of whipped cream
• about 1 liter of sour cream
• 1 kilo of defrosted frozen fruit (I used cherries and raspberries)
• 3 layers of cake (store-bought)
• around 200g of sugar

You will also need a huge-ass bowl, like the yellow one in the picture. Why, you ask? Because no mere mortal bowl can take this much stuff without spilling! (does that sound a little bit pervy?)

See, what did I tell you? That's what one liter of whipped cream looks like. It took me 20 minutes to make that sucker stiff (I'm turning into Nigella with the food porn). It made me long for a nice KitchenAid mixer that mixes stuff for me and that I don't have to put any effort into. Until the day that happens though, it's the elbow-grease path for me.

After that is done, in another much smaller bowl, we mix the sour cream and the sugar, then add this mixture to the whipped cream. Folding this is a bit tricky because the whipped cream moves out of the way for the sour cream and sometimes you are left with a bunch of sour cream on the bottom, which, though making for a good dirty joke, isn't much good for a cake, because it will just spill out. So take your spatula, mixer, hamster wheel or whatever you like to stir with and patiently even out the mixture.

And you're done! That's all the preparation you need to do.

 
 

So what you do next is you separate your cake layers and place one on the serving dish. Cover it with the cream mixture, leaving about 1cm of the edges free, so when you press down, the filling won't spill over. Then put the berries over the cream and add another layer of cream. Cover all this with the next cake layer and press down gently.

You should end up with something like this. The top layer doesn't have any berries, except the ones that will be used for decorating. Now all you have to do is put the remaining cream mixture onto the sides of the cake and it's done!

This, in total, took a half hour to make, despite the horrid cream whipping session. The cake is really easy to make, but it isn't for the faint of heart or the lactose intolerant. I usually have some cream mix left over and I combine it with the juice that came from defrosting the berries. It makes for a simple and yummy ice-cream.

Oh, and finally, don't forget to do the little lad dance if you want your cake piece!