[Rant] Why "Cook, serve, delicious" should be mandatory

Imagine this: It's a hot summer's day, you're standing in line at the post office/bank, waiting to pay your bills. The air-conditioning is broken, and all you nice people, who just want to do your civic duty, are boiling and melting within your own skin. You lean sideways, to see how many people are in line before you and count them again. Hm... still 17. It's been 17 for a half hour now. What's the hold up? Once you reach the window, you figure it out. It's the person taking your money!

Has this ever happened to you? There's a person sitting there, staring at the screen to check your data, and then at the keyboard, awkwardly punching one key at a time with one finger of one hand. They do this at a speed which makes it seem as though they have only head stories of these mythical "keyboards" and have never used one for themselves. But! These are people who have years of experience under their respective belts. So how is this possible?

Part of it is probably due to being bored out of your skull, I won't deny that. The second reason, though, it would seem, is that they just can't be bothered to speed up their typing. They're suffering there, in their tiny booth, so why shouldn't you suffer with them?

It is inefficient, annoying and just plain mind-numbing for all parties involved. Here is what I propose: much like welders, various tellers should re-qualify every few months! They would need to be capable of doing quick and precise data entry in a somewhat stressful environment.

This is where Cook, serve, delicious (CSD) comes in. CSD is a brilliantly paced typing game. You are required to enter specific key combinations which correspond to the recipes that the patrons of your restaurant order. Sort of like entering account numbers.... See where I'm going with this. As you progress, the combinations become more complex and there are more impatient people to deal with.... like you would find in a line at the bank. Who ever claims this is a girly, mom-type game that middle aged people play during work hours has obviously never played CSD.

When re-qualifying, a teller would be given a day or two to prepare then when testing comes around, they would need to deal with a three star restaurant at 100% buzz. Buzz determines how often people stop by your restaurant and 100% would make for a constant flow of orders. I picked 3 stars because that is the furthest I've come in the game. It's right at the point where a novice like myself starts clenching her jaw because of the focus and speed required. I believe that for a veteran of keyboard-fu, this should require less effort than it does me.

Gamification has been popular for a while now. Giving anybody who was at least 7 when Pong came out should keep them more interested in the task more than a standard test would. On top of that, some folks have a nasty competitive streak and would just love the opportunity to outshine their coworkers/friends/mum. The game would provide the stress, the scoring and a curve-ball of random combinations, making tellers prepared for anything!

Now imagine a world where your papers and data and money are dealt with quickly and efficiently. Isn't it beautiful?

Until next Thursday!

LaDIY Tasha

P.S: Hey, I'm not picky, it can also be Typing of the dead!

Disclaimer: CSD is property of Vertigo Games, ToD is property of Sega (I think) and all the images from the games are theirs.

Things you can learn from Stripping

Hey, guys! You know Penny Arcade, right? If you don't, you really should, the people there started with a web comic and built it up to a mighty ninja-wizard empire of awesomeness! (I swear I will buy a thesaurus and learn new words soon)

logo is property of Penny Arcade, folks, I had nothing to do with it

Anyway, what I was going to say that the people of PA decided to make a reality show. All reality shows are set up, made up, tweaked, exaggerated. The people in reality shows are cam-whoring attention-seekers who would sell their own grandma to goblins, if it would mean screen time. Right? WRONG! Oh so dead, goblin-grandma-eating wrong! At least in this case. "Strip search" is the most fun I've ever had watching a "reality" show. There was no backstabbing, no plots, alliances, no over-the-top screaming and weeping into the camera. It was a group of 12 artists, doing their thing, going through some challenges and facing off for elimination.

What I found very refreshing about the show was that after elimination, the Creators, Mike and Jerry, would go have a talk with the eliminated artist. The person wasn't just discarded like the format of other shows dictates. They got to talk and say what their plans for the future are, how they enjoyed the experience of participating in the show and get advice from the Creators.

I found out about the show through following OhJoySexToy (if you're a minor, I will suggest not following this link) by Erika Moen, who was one of the contestants. I'm not exactly sure about the time-line and when this all took place, but it was nice to have all the episodes on hand at once.

Here are the important links:

Penny Arcade

Strip Search - Episode archive

Strip Search - List of participating artists 

image also property of Penny Arcade

If you like good art and/or web comics, I suggest you check them all out. Every artist introduction page has a link to their own page, where you can find their comics, artwork, blogs, twitter account... Just take a look, it will be worth it!

Now, what I really wanted to talk to you about is what you and I can learn from the show. Every set of episodes covered a certain topic that a budding (or seasoned) comic artist may encounter. Dealing with fans and trolls, evil contracts that screw you out of house and home, making money through merchandise, promoting yourself at cons. I think these lessons aren't limited to comic artists. Anybody trying to make and sell things can learn a thing or two from this show and that is what I loved most about it. Behind the heckling, the silliness, there were serious problems being discussed and shown. 

image came from otakusphere

Do you know how to set up your booth? What will draw the most attention? How not to get ticked off by trolls? Personally, I have huge problems with that one. It's all very useful. There are such articles on etsy, but here you can see real people making some very real-people-type mistakes and being corrected. Maybe that's exactly what I was doing wrong and now I know what to do! Yay!

property of Erika Moen

Another useful thing I've found through Twitter, is a lecture about self-promotion by Erika Moen. It's full of little bits and pieces you can't know beforehand, that you can't have learned unless you were in the con trenches fighting your way through booth barnacles (I love this term so dearly). For me, it's better to learn from people speaking and showing me things than from articles, so this format is perfect. Maybe it isn't your thing, in which case I suggest Etsy's Seller Handbook, which updates often and does have great advice, it's just that the video format works better for me.

To recap: Strip Search and the vimeo lecture about self-promotion are very useful things that I suggest anybody who wants to start their own art-related business should watch and learn from.

image credits: Penny Arcade, Otakusphere, Erika Moen

George, the slacker brain

Somewhere along the way, I had to become grown up. I don't know how this goes for other people, but at the somewhat advanced age of 27, I still find myself confused by the adult world and its responsibilities. Part of my brain wishes to play forever and doesn't understand why exactly I should do all these dull tasks that are a part of everyday life. Play-brain, from now named George, grasps some basic human rules like brushing teeth and paying for stuff. He enjoys showers, sitting in the library while being quiet and even enjoys calculating how much money is to be set aside for bills. What George doesn't like, it seems, is everything else. 

"Why? Why do I have to study? I would much rather draw! I don't wanna study! I want to look at stuff online!!!" - yells George petulantly and then goes on to drag me into his slacker schemes. I know I must fight this impulse, but I've been finding that very difficult ever since puberty. Maybe it's because I never had a rebellious phase, maybe it's because my hamster died, who knows? I hope to one day have a lot of money to give to some nice shrink who will tell me why this is.

For now, though, I am interested in solutions and how to keep George from totally messing up my life! Books have always been the go-to thing so I tried self-help books. Who better to help me than me, right? Here is what I found out: I really don't like self-help books! The few I've read were long-winded, somewhat patronizing and spun the same sentences 27 ways. I'm not saying all of them are bad. My sample wasn't large enough to establish this without any doubt. I am saying, however, that I would like my advice given to me in concise, logical terms without any fluff on the sides.

Enter lifehack.org! Oh joy of joys, I found a good one! I've been slowly following this page for about ten or so days now and I really like their style. The articles are divided by topic to lifestyle, communication, productivity, work. It's all peppered with inspirational quotes and this thing called '30sec tip'. Oh boy are those things painful. In two or three sentences, this short article makes you assess your life choices and plans for the future. Unlike the patronizing "do this or fail at life" approach, the 30sec tip tells you "Look, I know you're an adult and you can do as you please, I'm just offering this for your consideration. Another perspective, if you will. Just think about it, that's all I ask."

I hate that 'motivational' quote: "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?". Failing is an integral part of the human experience. The thing to ask is "What would you do after you've failed?". Pick yourself up by use bootstraps or wallow? I've been known to wallow. I've spent a considerable amount of time doing this and if there were such a thing I would have a black belt in wallowing. The thing is though, being a wallow-ninja isn't a cool thing to be. It made me sluggish and angry at both the world and myself. While some people can make being angry at the world profitable, like Gordon Ramsay, I couldn't do it. George just wanted to sit in the corner and hate everything and everybody. Hm. I guess I did have my rebellious phase after all, it just wasn't particularly impressive. 

George and I are just barely on speaking terms, or whatever you call being "in touch" with your slacker-brain. Seems there is no hack anywhere that will kill George forever and the smug little bastard knows it. I am stuck with him. For the past few days we have worked out a compromise of sorts. He lets me work a little and then I let him have fun. Somehow this always gets out of hand and I end up doing much less of the useful stuff than I had originally planned, but it's a start. 

Here is one useful link for those of us with productivity problems. I've recently "discovered" the GTD (Getting Things Done) method, but being notoriously slow at reading, haven't moved past page 5 or so. When I do (see how I use "when" instead of "if"? Take that, George!) I'll write about it, hopefully. In the meantime, good luck to us all!

Stock credit: xn3ctz